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To Beauty

The saying, “Beauty if in the eye of the beholder,” is often maligned by dorks such as myself. You see I grew up playing Dungeons and Dragons, back when it was definitely not cool, and even worse, it was done with paper, pencil, and lumps of plastic called dice. Yeah, I’m old AND a dork.

So anyhow, in that game there is a creature called a beholder. It’s a large round floating fleshy sack with a massive eyeball and rather considerable teeth. No thought was ever given to its digestive system or means of disposing of whatever unlucky adventurers it happens to eat. On top of this levitating abomination are multiple smaller eye stalks, giving it the means to see anywhere and everywhere at all times. Oh, and each eyeball has a different magical ability, from turning a stalwart warrior into a stone statue to disintegrating a fleeing maiden. They can do other things too, but I think you should get the idea.

So anyhow, that simple statement has been abused many times over the years by myself and my friends. We do it shamelessly, and often take it for granted. Owing to my past abuses, I now consider it my personal duty to take it back – much in the way that Randal attempted to do the same with a different phrase in Clerks II.

My wife, you see, is an amazing woman. Is she the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth? That’s arguable. A bold statement when one considers the likes of Angelina Jolie, Megan Fox, and other more ageless beauties such as Demi Moore and Goldie Hawn. But to me, the difference is clear and obvious. I know my wife. I know what she’s been through over the years. I know the struggles she’s endured (and continues to) and I know the victories she has achieved. Those other women? I know nothing about them save what their publicist or stalkers have released to the world. Do they truly have an inner beauty to them, or is a carefully cultivated mask designed to drive men and boys alike into sweaty palm induced fevers?

This isn’t a blog post about the weight loss journey my wife has made either, although to date she’s logged in over 90 pounds of weight lost. It’s about how she takes my breath away when I look at her. It’s about how I catch myself staring at her time and again – and yes, many of the thoughts that run through my mind also invoke some sweaty palm induced fevers!

Now for what it’s worth, many others have responded with similar, if slightly less amorous, observations about her. Losing that much weight is life changing, and it’s been a great experience for me to go through with her as well. Her self-confidence and self-esteem has sky rocketed, she’s more outgoing, and just generally enjoying life more than ever. Along with the missing pounds came other makeover items as well such as  platinum blond hair and sexier clothes.

Her journey’s not done though. She’s still aching to get rid of some excess skin and a little more fat in areas she deems unsightly. Hey, we’re all our own toughest critics, so I can’t fault her for that. I’ve been lifting weights for well over six years now to rebuild my own body into the image I want. The irony there is that I don’t think I look very big or impressive. I’m as strong as your average ox, but when I look in the mirror I don’t see that. I see other guys who look bigger than I think I do and I’m irritated. Experience has taught me in many instances that I am stronger than they are, so wtf? I opined just the other day that if I looked as strong as I feel, I wonder how strong that would really make me. Who knows, but I think it’s a hell of a goal to shoot for!

I’m digressing, but only slightly. Back on my gorgeous wife. I’ve read about, and personally known, a couple of women now who have maintained that the Barbie build is bullshit. No real woman should look like that or should even want to look like that. I nodded my head in appreciation of these viewpoints, especially if the few women who do look thusly earn such animosity from their peers. But these rare selections of women that I do know who have managed to effect such changes in themselves to achieve partial or complete transformation towards that archetype have a considerable change of heart. They find themselves thrilled and looking forward to progressing further. Cute, sexy clothes are only the beginning. Longer time spent at the gym perfecting the image, other assistance as needed in the form of thermogenics or beta blockers to help sculpt the body or, in instances where the gym alone cannot provide the answer, even cosmetic surgery. Is this fake, unreal, or unnecessary? I say no.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. My wife’s outer beauty matches her inner beauty these days, and she wants to take both to new levels. I often wonder if I’m lucky that I met her before her transformation – a Goddess such as her probably wouldn’t give me the time of day if I met her on the street these days! Well, she still would because she’s just a caring and nice person, but you get the idea.

Anyhow, for those seeking third party assistance in reaching the level they want themselves to reach, I say more power to you! Humanity has been expressing itself since the beginning of time through our bodies. Sticks shoved through ears, lips, noses, or other areas were only the beginning. These days we have boob jobs, fake glutes, anabolic / androgenic steroids, liposuction, lip injections, botox, vaginoplasty, and a host of other means of making ourselves look, feel, and perform the way we want to. Yes, I said vaginoplasty – it’s real and it involves making the mommy parts look, act, and feel like they did prior to, well, whatever happened that made them not look, act, and feel that way!

So, aside from the basket cases who are addicted to plastic surgery or other extreme cases of narcissism, if you’ve done the work and can make it happen, I say express yourself in the way that makes you the happiest. I’ve used over the counter supplements on and off over the years in my pursuit of strength and conditioning, and I know plenty of others who have not let a over, under, or around the counter get in their way. I believe that America was based on the beliefs that people should be free to do what they wish to do with themselves, provided it does not endanger or harm anyone else.

And besides, without the extreme cases and the beautiful people of the world, who would we have to talk about?

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. Dawn
    July 6, 2010 at 20:06

    Aww thanks babe! This was very nice and I assure you that I would still find you attractive and would be with you even if I were looking like this 10 years ago! You are the best and you are always here for me!

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