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Women With Balls

The promised post about the Arnold Classic and my awesome wife.

So we showed up a few minutes late for dinner with some friends of mine who are into amateur bodybuilding and powerlifting, as well as Will Brink, nutritional guru and often consultant for various SWAT teams. Eight of us gathered at a restaurant in downtown Columbus called Haiku. Their specialty was sushi and, I have first-hand experience to admit, it was outstanding.

Jason Halstead at Haiku

I am the big guy on the right – and I was surprised at how big I look in the pic. I blame it on all the skinny and shapely women at the table. My wife is behind me, and directly across from her is Will Brink. The rest of the people shall remain nameless so as to keep their secret identities safe. Super heroes, one and all…

The next morning was a little rough on my wife. It had something to do with a few too many white Russians. Not the Dolph Lundgren kind either. We rolled into the convention around 10:30 or so and had a lot of walking to do. We watched some martial arts, some fencing, some painting, some powerlifting (USA PL federation), some female bodybuilders posing on stage, and looked around for people to meet and greet. We missed Arnold Schwarzenneggar, he came in later I guess. We also missed the guy I was really hoping to meet, Lou Ferrigno. I can’t explain why, but I’ve wanted to meet this man for as long as I can remember. I don’t know much of anything about him outside of what’s public knowledge, but I like him and I’ve always been inspired by him. But alas, I guess he had a booth there on Friday but I could not find him anywhere on Saturday.

Speaking of booths and finding things, the expo floor on Saturday is madhouse! Many aisles were slowed to a crawl with people literally having to push their way through. My third time through there (yes, three times – I really wanted to meet Lou) I found the Titan powerlifting gear booth. I spoke with Ken Anderson briefly, and couldn’t hear more than 20% of what he said. I’m looking for a new bench shirt to help me get back into powerlifting – about a year and a half ago I tore my pec, separating it completely from my left arm. I underwent surgery to reattach it and I’ve been getting myself back in shape ever since. So far so good, but I really want a good bench shirt to protect it and prevent something like that from happening again. Anyhow, Ken wants me to give him a call so we can talk about it and get the right thing. I’ll probably wait until later this month.

Now as far as the women with balls topic goes, there are two incidents worth mentioning. The first was what many of us firmly believe was a tranny at the bar we visited at Haiku. It was eye opening, to say the least.

The second incident is where my wife comes into this story. She was hungover and dehydrated as we walked through the hallway outside the expo room. We stopped, wondering why there were two cement balls with grips laying on a rubber mat. The vendors at the booth surrounding them were trying to talk people into coming up and try deadlifting them. My wife stepped up, curious, and found out they weighed 210 lbs each. Her best deadlift this year was 205.

They talked her into trying it – she admitted she was curious if she could pick it up once. The existing women’s record was lifting them 25 times. She wasn’t sure she could do 1. She tried it, she succeeded, and then she tried it again. She kept going and I was so stunned and proud I completely forgot to get out my phone to take a video of it. I suck. But not her – she kept going and going until she blew past 25 and ended at 30. She quit, she said, because her lungs were on fire and she felt funny from the lack of proper hydration. She figures she could have done five more easy if she had not drank the night before.

The record held the rest of the day. She got a free tank top out of it too, but the shirt is nothing compared to the knowledge of what she accomplished.

I considered trying it, the men’s record for deadlifting both balls (420lbs total) was 40 reps at the time. I reckoned that should have been easy – my best single rack pull is over 600lbs – but I opted out. I didn’t want a sore back and, more importantly, I didn’t want to do anything to diminish the awesome feat of strength she had just done.

And let this be a warning should anyone give me a hard time – my wife is sexy and strong and I will not hesitate to sick her on you!

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